Toxic Relationships and Therapy
What is therapy all about, anyways?
Do you go to therapy when you are in a major mental health or life crisis?
A therapist can definitely be helpful when you are in a state of crisis or emergency. But, what about all those times in between, where you know you have u finished, underlying issues that haven't been addressed but are lying dormant?
The more we address our underlying issues in therapy at times when we are not in crisis, the less likely we will be to end up in another difficult crisis, and if we do, we will have far better skills with which to handle it.
Therapy can also help us improve our relationships, emotional well-being, self-esteem and overall mood, by helping us change the way we view ourselves and the rest of the world.
As a therapist who works with couples, I have seen my fair share of infidelity struggles. But one thing that always leaves me puzzled is when the unfaithful partner tries to explain to me why it was natural for them to cheat. My response to that is, if cheating is natural, your partner should be able to cheat too, right?
Somehow, their answer is always no.
So where does this double standard come from? Either you commit to a monogamous relationship where there is no cheating, or you commit to an open relationship, where outside relationships are allowed.
The problem at hand here, is that the individual who cheats isn't cheating because they're unhappy in their relationship, they cheat because they are faced with a deficit within themselves and cheating gives them a false sense of fulfillment.
There is a lot more to why people cheat and why they feel entitled to do so, but having a double standard creates an extreme sense of imbalance between a couple, dissolving all trust and respect.
Without trust and respect, there is no foundation for a relationship.