A divorce can leave you broken and defeated or empowered and authentic?
Which one will you choose?
Divorce may mean the end of your married but it is NOT, and I repeat, NOT, the end of your life. When one door closes, another door opens, and a whole new opportunity awaits you right around the corner!
Yes, your divorce may have been traumatic. Yes, you may have had to give up your dream home. Yes, you had to give up your status as a "wife" and "married person." Yes, you may have even had to say goodbye to some mutual friends.
But.... the one thing you will not have to give up on is YOU! And you are the most important thing of all 💗 💗
Let's clarify something here and scream it from the rooftops.
Getting divorced does NOT mean you you are:
❌ A bad spouse or parent.
❌ Taking the easy way out.
❌ A failure.
❌ A victim.
❌ An embarrassment
Getting divorced DOES mean that you are:
✔️ Deserving of more.
✔️ Capable of responsibility.
✔️ Strong & Resilient
There is always HOPE!
Sometimes people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures!
I am no stranger to divorce.
Pictures left and right: Me, 8 months post-divorce, living my best life in Israel, working a great job, hanging with amazing friends and feeling truly empowered.
Middle picture: This past fall, 10 years married to my best friend, who inspires me to be a better version of myself every single day.
After my divorce, I made a decision. Even though I felt broken, defeated and just plain burnt out, I decided that going forward, I would live my life in a truly authentic way. I would no longer feel ashamed of who I was or try to hide the imperfect parts of myself.
I no longer cared about what others thought about me and was no longer afraid to share my opinions, for fear of being criticized or shut down.
Yes, my failed marriage may have left me emotionally depleted, but after surviving a marriage where I was controlled, abused, criticized and berated for just being ME, it was enough to make me give up on trying to please others and simply live a life that was meaningful and intentional.
Every day became a valuable experience of slowly rebuilding my strength, energy and confidence..... I may have been hurt but I was not broken.
The more I lived my life with authenticity and intention, the more empowered I became, and the more I seemed to attract the right people into my life- healthy, supportive and empowering friends.
When I met my now-husband, he was able to see me for who I truly am, in my entirety; take me or leave me. Here we are, 11 years later; real people with a real marriage, living authentic, imperfect, messy, empowering and intentional lives.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
ANNA SHERMAN'S TOP 5 DIVORCE RESOURCES
You are going to want to screenshot this one!
Sister to Sister - is a comprehensive resource and support network for Jewish divorced women. Since 2005, they have helped more than 1000 women and 2500 children get through the pain of divorce.
Survive Divorce - is an online community full of great resources and actionable advice covering all facets of divorce. Money, kids, emotional support, legal stuff and the list goes on. Whether you're looking for information, inspiration or community... Survive Divorce has got you covered!
Divorcedmoms.com - is an online website just for divorced women. It is filled with information, resources and stories from other women who have been in the same boat as you. They offer a curated social media platform and help women worldwide survive divorce and rebuild their lives.
The Divorce Angels - online resources and recommendations to help you transition through your divorce. The site is filled with blogs, forums, online chats, legal advice and vetted professionals.
THERAPY - I can't stress this enough! Make sure you have someone you can talk to and help guide you through this major life transition. Working with a therapist can help provide a rational perspective and help you to process those negative emotions. If you're interested in learning how to heal from divorce and navigate those unknown waters, book an appointment with me today right here.
Divorce can change who you are. It can shake you to your core. But what is most important to remember is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Until next time!
- Anna Sherman, RP, MFT