Do you ever feel like when you’re hiding your negative emotions from someone, it’s also hard to show your positive emotions?

We can’t pick and choose what we’re going to show up with!

Like I have mentioned before, being vulnerable and showing up with authenticity can be scary and uncomfortable, but reaching the end of your life without living your truth could be even scarier.... How long are you going to risk putting off your life for fear of being judged?

Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage, because it means you are brave enough to live authentically and intentionally, even if that means being judged or getting hurt.

Remember, the higher your vibe, the smaller your tribe.... But it’s worth it.

A great deal of shame comes from limiting core beliefs that we developed during childhood, about who we were supposed to be and what was expected of us.

If we can’t live up to those expectations, we’ve failed our caregivers and ourselves. How shameful!

But why do we have to feel ashamed for not being someone who we’re not? And more so, why feel ashamed based on the expectations of other people? Who are we living our lives for? Other people? Or ourselves?

By allowing ourselves to live a life of shame, due to the fact that we failed to live up to other people’s expectations, we are allowing these other people and their limiting opinions of us to live rent-free in our heads, taking up valuable real-estate that could be rented out to far more important things like personal goals, creative thinking and internal happiness.

I have had so many clients who are not able to move past certain painful events in their lives. They have tried everything to heal the pain- therapy, support groups, reading, meditation, medication, etc. Until one day, they reach an epiphany: the emotion they are desperately trying to get past us not the emotion that is causing them the pain they are in! It’s easy to walk around hating your ex and feeling angry for what he did. But what about admitting that deep down, you still care about him and miss him? How painful it can be to get vulnerable with your deeper, raw emotions; but once you are aware and understanding of them, the real healing process can begin. Sometimes, it’s not anger you need to be healing, it’s pain. Vulnerability can be scary and painful, but it’s also honest and brave, and in order to heal your pain, your heart needs to feel.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am one email or DM away. You are part of my community and I care about you.

Have you ever heard the expression, hurt people hurt people?

Well, here’s a new one for you: Empowered women empower women. I have never been a fan of female competition, and if I sense it nearby, I generally shy away. I just don’t see the point of competing with, putting down or outdoing other women when each one of us is so uniquely different and has our own qualities to offer each other. The more women support, encourage and empower each other, the more we can accomplish in the world together. But the more we judge, compete with and step over each other, the more divided we will be. It takes a village, and the village starts here.

Most monogamous relationships typically have one pursuer, a partner who seeks out intimate connections with their partner, thinks quickly on the spot, and needs immediate answers and one withdrawer, the other partner who needs their space, takes time to process their feelings and likes to resolve conflict after finding some clarity.

There is nothing wrong with a pursuer/withdrawer dynamic, provided both partners are aware and attune to each other’s needs and there is an open line of communication between them.

You can review this chart to understand the dynamic clearly!

I want to leave you with this.

Intention - one of the 3 elements to my Empowered Woman movement. The opposite of intention is apathy. Living your life day in and day out, with no purpose, no goals and no meaning. Living your life without intention is a choice! It may be less work and it may be easier to please others, but it comes with a great cost. Living your life without intention, also means that you don’t care about changing your circumstances, as unfortunate as they may be. Living without intention can also mean that you allow people to hurt, control and use you without creating healthy boundaries and empowering choices for yourself. Living without intention means that you don’t respect yourself enough to actually care. It’s very easy to remain stagnant and blame our misfortunes on the difficult hand we’ve been dealt, but the longer you allow yourself to remain prisoner to your misfortunes, the harder it becomes to take control of your life and make intentional choices. You may not have it easy, but you always have a choice to make. And your choices can be intentional.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am one email or DM away. You are part of my community and I care about you.

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Have you ever felt sick of being single? Finding the one can be a challenging journey, and if it persists, the search for love can be frustrating, at times, leading to burnout.

It can be easy to forget the purpose of dating all together, when the focus becomes so concentrated on finding someone who will love and accept you, and more urgently, will ease the pain of being lonely. But in the midst of this search, it’s important to ask yourself, what is the ultimate goal? Feeling loved and appreciated by someone is wonderful, but what does this person have to offer you? Are they worthy of receiving your love, attention and affection and appreciating who you really are? What do they bring to the relationship? Committing to a partner who says they love you, but does not fulfill your needs, show you proper respect or appreciate all the unique qualities you have is not someone who is worthy of your love and attention. Trying to make a relationship work by sacrificing what is important to you, will not make you any less lonely.

Now, I know what you’re saying. Not everyone is better after divorce. Not everyone is stronger or wiser. And some people are jaded. I know. We’re only human, after all. My point is, as a general rule, divorce has a bad rep. It’s stigmatized. And the idea of dating a divorcee, comes with its preconceived notions.

As difficult and traumatic as divorce can be, it can also be a great opportunity to learn amazing things about yourself, branch out into new opportunities, bask in your new-found freedom and rejoice in your new chance to find true love and happiness.

You can choose to present yourself to others as damaged and broken, or you can open other people’s’ eyes to what divorce can actually look like-smarter, stronger, happier and a lot more to offer.

Remember - the most important rule of dating is to always be yourself! Being deeply valued for who you are as a person is crucial for any healthy relationship. If you change your personality for your date and the relationship works out, you end up with what I call a "counterfeit chemistry", a false connection based on dishonesty that is impossible to maintain. "Your person" will love you for all that you are.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me! I am one email or DM away!

Until next time,

Anna Sherman, RP, MFT

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