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Shame and Vulnerability

Writer's picture: Anna Sherman, RP, MFTAnna Sherman, RP, MFT

Do you ever feel like when you’re hiding your negative emotions from someone, it’s also hard to show your positive emotions?


We can’t pick and choose what we’re going to show up with!


Like I have mentioned before, being vulnerable and showing up with authenticity can be scary and uncomfortable, but reaching the end of your life without living your truth could be even scarier.... How long are you going to risk putting off your life for fear of being judged?


Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage, because it means you are brave enough to live authentically and intentionally, even if that means being judged or getting hurt.


Remember, the higher your vibe, the smaller your tribe.... But it’s worth it.



 

A great deal of shame comes from limiting core beliefs that we developed during childhood, about who we were supposed to be and what was expected of us.


If we can’t live up to those expectations, we’ve failed our caregivers and ourselves. How shameful!


But why do we have to feel ashamed for not being someone who we’re not? And more so, why feel ashamed based on the expectations of other people? Who are we living our lives for? Other people? Or ourselves?


By allowing ourselves to live a life of shame, due to the fact that we failed to live up to other people’s expectations, we are allowing these other people and their limiting opinions of us to live rent-free in our heads, taking up valuable real-estate that could be rented out to far more important things like personal goals, creative thinking and internal happiness.

 

I have had so many clients who are not able to move past certain painful events in their lives. They have tried everything to heal the pain- therapy, support groups, reading, meditation, medication, etc. Until one day, they reach an epiphany: the emotion they are desperately trying to get past us not the emotion that is causing them the pain they are in! It’s easy to walk around hating your ex and feeling angry for what he did. But what about admitting that deep down, you still care about him and miss him? How painful it can be to get vulnerable with your deeper, raw emotions; but once you are aware and understanding of them, the real healing process can begin. Sometimes, it’s not anger you need to be healing, it’s pain. Vulnerability can be scary and painful, but it’s also honest and brave, and in order to heal your pain, your heart needs to feel.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am one email or DM away. You are part of my community and I care about you.

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Anna Sherman Therapy Office

Anna Sherman, RP, MFT.

Toronto, ON

Canada

 

annashermanmft@gmail.com

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