One of the best relationships in life is a friend.
When you're spending time with a friend, especially one you’ve had for many years, you never really expect things to change. You think you’ll get engaged, married and have kids all at the same time. Especially in a tight-knit community like the Orthodox Jewish one.
But before you know it, things can start looking a little different and conversations start to change.
How do you keep in touch if you and your friend are at totally different stages of your life, like newlywed vs. single?
Something that has helped me throughout the years is to be mindful of what you share and who you're sharing it with. If you know your friend is having a hard time getting pregnant, maybe it’s not the best idea to talk about your kids the whole time you're together.
Don’t get me wrong; of course, you can share your thoughts and experiences with your friends, that’s why they’re your friends. Just keep that small reminder at the back of your head that what you're going through might not be what your friend needs to hear at this moment.
Another very common question is:
what should you do if you're the only one reaching out to make plans and the effort is never reciprocated?
An important comment Anna Sherman made during our Instagram live (If you haven't seen it yet, click here to watch!) was that your friend might view your friendship differently than you. In her eyes, being friendly and texting you back is her normal, but it means something totally different to you.
Part of being a good friend is calling and checking-in because friendships should be reciprocal. Unfortunately, not all friendships are like that; sometimes you give and give but don’t get the same in return. That’s when it might be time to think about what that friendship represents to you, and if it’s worth it putting in all the effort.
You must set boundaries for yourself. There are some friendships that my husband and I decided are a big NO because we weren't feeling the vibe or it was just plain inappropriate.
At the end of the day, choose people that make you feel good, that you enjoy having around, and vice versa. Be there for your friends. Acknowledge that things do change but there’s always a way to have a good friend in your life.
Wishing all my friends a very happy holiday season!
Sara is a young mother of two living in Toronto. She has an active account on Instagram @saraschlam all about fashion, motherhood and everyday life.
**If you want to get in touch with Sara, reach out to her on Instagram @saraschlam.
If you would like to appear as a guest blogger, contact me right here!