Dealing with Chronic Illness

This month on instagram, we covered a lot! I got pretty vulnerable and shared my story of living with a chronic illness. If you're not already following me on Instagram, you should check it out!

Throughout my life I have always been a highly sensitive person. That includes physical sensitivity. As I reached adulthood, I started experiencing a slow, gradual increase in problems with my health.

After getting married and experiencing a difficult struggle with infertility, I gave birth to healthy twin girls. We discovered that the reason I had unexplained infertility, as well as some other mysterious issues, was because I carry autoimmune antibodies, which means my body can choose to attack itself in a multitude of different ways.

These ways can change over the course of my life; infertility being one of them. After the birth of my twins, I started experiencing very weird and extreme reactions to different foods, soaps, cleaning supplies and makeup.

Many foods put me into excruciating digestive pain and I couldn’t even tell which ones I was reacting to. It was traumatic, annoying, exhausting and depressing all at the same time.

My doctor and allergist couldn’t seem to figure out the problem, so I decided to try a more holistic approach and met with a Naturopathic Doctor.

The naturopathic doctor could tell right away which foods and which substances were a problem for me. Her suggestions for how to start healing and rid myself of pain were very extreme and limiting, but at this point I was ready to try anything.

It took a few weeks of eating a crazy strict diet and switching to natural soaps and detergents to really feel a difference, but eventually, I felt like a new person. My pain and inflammation went away and my mood lifted, helping me to feel like I was free again.

These changes, combined with regular exercise are what still give me energy and keep me functioning; as regimented and limiting as they may be. People ask me all the time how I can live such a disciplined lifestyle.

Part of living with chronic illness is acceptance of the challenge you have been given. I was never happy about dealing with health complications, but ignoring and fighting the reality of my body doesn’t make my chronic health issues disappear.

Knowing what my body can handle, what I can and cannot digest and when I need to slow down and rest are all ways I can pace myself and manage my body. I also know that pushing myself to do things which my body rejects, like eating foods I can’t tolerate, or refusing to rest when I’m tired, will wear down my body’s immune system and cause me to become even sicker, making the recovery time even longer. I know many of you are committed to intuitive eating and that’s great!

But for me, (and probably other people as well) my intuition goes towards my body’s abilities and limitations. And yes, I can still eat delicious and tasty food and enjoy it a lot- I’m just limited on which foods I can eat. Learning how to do this has been hard, but It’s what I need to do!

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Shame and Vulnerability

Do you ever feel like when you’re hiding your negative emotions from someone, it’s also hard to show your positive emotions?

We can’t pick and choose what we’re going to show up with!

Like I have mentioned before, being vulnerable and showing up with authenticity can be scary and uncomfortable, but reaching the end of your life without living your truth could be even scarier.... How long are you going to risk putting off your life for fear of being judged?

Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage, because it means you are brave enough to live authentically and intentionally, even if that means being judged or getting hurt.

Remember, the higher your vibe, the smaller your tribe.... But it’s worth it.

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A great deal of shame comes from limiting core beliefs that we developed during childhood, about who we were supposed to be and what was expected of us.

If we can’t live up to those expectations, we’ve failed our caregivers and ourselves. How shameful!

But why do we have to feel ashamed for not being someone who we’re not? And more so, why feel ashamed based on the expectations of other people? Who are we living our lives for? Other people? Or ourselves?

By allowing ourselves to live a life of shame, due to the fact that we failed to live up to other people’s expectations, we are allowing these other people and their limiting opinions of us to live rent-free in our heads, taking up valuable real-estate that could be rented out to far more important things like personal goals, creative thinking and internal happiness.

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I have had so many clients who are not able to move past certain painful events in their lives. They have tried everything to heal the pain- therapy, support groups, reading, meditation, medication, etc. Until one day, they reach an epiphany: the emotion they are desperately trying to get past us not the emotion that is causing them the pain they are in! It’s easy to walk around hating your ex and feeling angry for what he did. But what about admitting that deep down, you still care about him and miss him? How painful it can be to get vulnerable with your deeper, raw emotions; but once you are aware and understanding of them, the real healing process can begin. Sometimes, it’s not anger you need to be healing, it’s pain. Vulnerability can be scary and painful, but it’s also honest and brave, and in order to heal your pain, your heart needs to feel.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am one email or DM away. You are part of my community and I care about you.

Empowered Women Empower Women

Have you ever heard the expression, hurt people hurt people?

Well, here’s a new one for you: Empowered women empower women. I have never been a fan of female competition, and if I sense it nearby, I generally shy away. I just don’t see the point of competing with, putting down or outdoing other women when each one of us is so uniquely different and has our own qualities to offer each other. The more women support, encourage and empower each other, the more we can accomplish in the world together. But the more we judge, compete with and step over each other, the more divided we will be. It takes a village, and the village starts here.

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Most monogamous relationships typically have one pursuer, a partner who seeks out intimate connections with their partner, thinks quickly on the spot, and needs immediate answers and one withdrawer, the other partner who needs their space, takes time to process their feelings and likes to resolve conflict after finding some clarity.

There is nothing wrong with a pursuer/withdrawer dynamic, provided both partners are aware and attune to each other’s needs and there is an open line of communication between them.

You can review this chart to understand the dynamic clearly!

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I want to leave you with this.

Intention - one of the 3 elements to my Empowered Woman movement. The opposite of intention is apathy. Living your life day in and day out, with no purpose, no goals and no meaning. Living your life without intention is a choice! It may be less work and it may be easier to please others, but it comes with a great cost. Living your life without intention, also means that you don’t care about changing your circumstances, as unfortunate as they may be. Living without intention can also mean that you allow people to hurt, control and use you without creating healthy boundaries and empowering choices for yourself. Living without intention means that you don’t respect yourself enough to actually care. It’s very easy to remain stagnant and blame our misfortunes on the difficult hand we’ve been dealt, but the longer you allow yourself to remain prisoner to your misfortunes, the harder it becomes to take control of your life and make intentional choices. You may not have it easy, but you always have a choice to make. And your choices can be intentional.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am one email or DM away. You are part of my community and I care about you.